Legendusashirt - Jingle Bells Monorails Main Street All In Light Ugly Christmas 2024 Shirt

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This new distance between yourself and your reflection, put there by whatever moral compass you live by and however you’ve breeched it, is the feeling they were talking about. There are some shitty things we do that make us feel shitty about ourselves, which might spill over into the way we feel about how we look. So you sent a nude to your best-friends ex? That’s bad. You walked out of an independent restaurant and you know they forgot to put the mains on the check? Not great.

It was 2018, and I was twenty eight, lying there in a darkened hotel room, paying a backstreet Botox doctor in cash to knock out the wrinkles on my forehead. Two weeks later this botch-job would set in, and my flat mate would look at me with worry. I looked at my face in the mirror, my right eyelid drooped slightly and my forehead looked oddly like sliced cheese, I had done what only 85-year-old Upper East Side women are supposed to do and I’d botched my face. For weeks following I’d be told I looked “kinda gormless,” “unwell,” “very very shiny?”

But in terms of how we treat our body, an attempt at moral purity is both impossible and useless. It was the conundrum of my twenties to care about fat positivity and also understand the realities of life when it comes to my aching knees. It’s still a conundrum to me now. And when it comes to matters of the body in society there is no morally pure way to be. The bad parts of society win when we internalize a moral code or a beauty standard that is designed to make us fail.

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